Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
February 4, 2013
File Size
542 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
556 (1 today)
Favourites
52 (who?)
Comments
23
×
Words never spoken,
Screams never heard.
Whimpers never noticed,
Tears never cured.

Scars carved by silence,
Forming words unspoken.
Forever I will be
Just nearly broken.

I will never give in,
Though hanging by a thread.
I will never give up,
Though my life has been shred.

With words known,
But not ever spoken,
I will never be
Completely broken.
:icondonotplz::iconusemyartplz:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkatnisseverdeen4life:
What I love about this poem is that it's simple and clean. There are no colloquial words trying to mask the poem's true meaning. The poem only shows the bare bones, so the reader could understand easily.
It is really extremely difficult to achieve this sort of uplifting feeling in poetry. Brillant poets have tried and many have failed, but this poem has truly captivated that spirit.
Another thing is that the poem accurately describes the sense of desparation and failure to be heard. (I say this because we've all been in a desparate situation before). It has just the right amount of misery, despair, and slight hope to form a really well written poem.

Amazing.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 12 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconirykyl:
It's good and it's lean. The idea that you have of being down and not out is a feeling that many people feel daily. Tres bien, and great work. The only only issue I have is the second line of the second stanza. Something about it just throws the flow of that portion off. The third stanza on the other hand is my favorite. There is nothing there wrong, and it provides us with a great mental image. I get the fourth stanza and completely understand it even though I don't quite know what you mean to start it. Again, great job.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:icontigerlilly-magpie:
nice job! very relatable!
Reply
:iconxxdreamdealerxx:
xxDreamDealerxx Mar 18, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks~
Reply
:icontigerlilly-magpie:
your welcome!
Reply
:iconxdarkxnxdeadlyx:
XdarkXnXdeadlyX Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
A very true poem. nice work!
Reply
:iconxxdreamdealerxx:
xxDreamDealerxx Mar 18, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you
Reply
:iconxdarkxnxdeadlyx:
XdarkXnXdeadlyX Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
welcome :)
Reply
:iconseerssword:
SeersSword Feb 4, 2013   General Artist
THIS IS AMAZING!!!!! :huggle:
Reply
:iconxxdreamdealerxx:
xxDreamDealerxx Feb 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconseerssword:
SeersSword Feb 5, 2013   General Artist
:hug: You're welcome.
Reply
:iconbuilt-broken:
I absolutly love this poem, it's simple and straight to the point. Love everything about it 10/10
Reply
Add a Comment: